One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld is Episode #102, "The Beard" in which Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality:
Jerry: Not conversion. You're thinking conversion?
Elaine: Well it did occur to me.
Jerry: You think you can get him to just change teams? He's not going to suddenly switch sides. Forget
about it.
Elaine: Why? Is it irrevocable?
Jerry: Because when you join that team it's not a whim. He likes his team. He's set with that team.
Elaine: We've got a good team.
Jerry: Yeah, we do. We do have a good team.
Elaine: Why can't he play for us?
Jerry: They're only comfortable with *their* equipment.
Elaine: We just got along *so* great.
Jerry: Of course you did. Everyone gets along great when there's no possibility of sex.
Elaine: No, no, no, I sensed something. I did sense something. I perceived a possibility Jerry.
Jerry: You realize you're venturing into uncharted waters.
Elaine: I realize that.
Jerry: Are you that desperate?
Elaine: Yes I am.
Jerry: He went back? What do you mean he went back?
Elaine: He went back.
Jerry: I don't understand it. You were having such a great time, the sex, the shopping.
Elaine: Well here's the thing. Being a woman, I only really have access to the, uh... equipment, what, thirty, forty-five minutes a week. And that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who *own* this equipment, and have access to it twenty-four hours a day, their entire lives.
Jerry: You can't. That's why they lose very few players.
Elaine: Yeah, I guess I never really stood a chance.
Jerry: Well there's always a place for you, on our team.
